We hear a lot about getting clear on our goals and I’m a huge fan of it, but there’s something even more important in regard to moving toward the life you should be leading.

What’s behind your goal?

Why do you want what you want?

Let me explain.

We’re a pretty emotional species. We make our decisions emotionally and then justify them by logic (sometimes we don’t even justify them very well). We set goals for the same reason.

Let’s take money as an example, it’s on most people’s “Things I want more of” list.

WHY? Why do you want more money? I’m serious about this.

There’s always an emotional answer to this question.

Do you believe more money will make you: Happy, Powerful, Loved, Important, Safe, sexy, Free, etc. etc.

The emotion behind the goal is your real goal.

Get clear on what’s behind the goal, and you tap into the emotional power that will drive you toward it. You might also find there’s an easier, more direct route to your real goal.



I pears are beautiful, they’re like little hand held sculptures that you pick up at the grocery store. A few weeks ago we had some really beautiful pears, they were red, Bartlett pears, really stunning. Yesterday they all landed in the composter because they’d rotted…not so beautiful any more. I’m not sure what I was saving the pears for, I knew they wouldn’t last. Pears are for eating. Life is for living; love is for expressing; air is for breathing; songs are for singing. Eat the pear, sing the song, love, breath and live your life. What are you waiting for?


Three frogs are sitting on a log and two of them decide to jump off. How many frogs are sitting on the log?

THREE. Deciding to jump off a log and jumping off a log are NOT the same thing.

I have a big problem with over analysing, over thinking and making huge decisions that either don’t stick, or don’t start.

The living is in the doing, the learning is in the doing. Stop deciding to live a different life and start living it. Don’t think about writing, start writing. Don’t think about exercising, get up and do it. Stop thinking about that trip, start walking.

The smallest movement is more powerful than all the deciding and planning in the world.

I know, it’s now been about 45 minutes since I decided to get out of bed, and I’m still under the covers…it’s so cosy in here, someone bring me a coffee.


Lily and Zara

These are my kids – taken by my good friend, and awesome photographer, Tracey Nolan http://misstraceynolan.com/

Lily, the oldest was adopted from China, Zara from South Africa.

We had just come back from South Africa with Zara when Lily came home from school saying that she’d met her friend Elisabeth’s little sister “And they look EXACTLY the same”.

The adoptive parent in me went into panic mode…”if I don’t deal with this correctly, her self-esteem and sense of family connection will be lost forever.  The next few moments will direct her life toward happiness or a life of drugs and gang  involvement” (OK so I was a little jet lagged).  I gently took her in my arms, and explained that some siblings look alike and others don’t, but they’re all still family.

She said “you mean the way Zara and I look alike.”

Take a second and look at the picture again.

When I asked her why she thought she looked like her sister Zara she looked at me like I was out of my mind and said, “Because we both have the same colour hair and eyes”.

This kid should be working for the United Nations.

I love this story not only because my kid is so awesome, but because it reminds me that we find what we look for.

If we’re looking for things to separate us, we will find them.

If we’re looking for things to draw us together, we will find them.

If we’re looking for reasons to be miserable, we will find them.

If we’re looking for reasons to be happy, we will find them.

If we’re looking for situations to help us grow into the people we were created to be, we will find them.

What are you looking for?


It’s easy to get caught up in the stuff that’s screaming the loudest.

Years ago I was a lifeguard (where is that red Speedo?) and remember knowing that if I ever arrived at an emergency situation, my attention should go to the people who were quiet, not the ones who were screaming for my attention. The people screaming were breathing and conscious, I needed to attend to the ones lying quietly, those were the people we could lose, possibly forever.

We all have things in our lives screaming for our attention and things that are quietly slipping away, possibly forever.

I challenge you today to focus on the things in your life that REALLY matter, not the ones trying the hardest to get your attention.



Until this morning I didn’t realize how much of my life I spend in “but”….”I’d love to get into better shape, but I’m busy”, “I’m  excited about my new keynote, but now that I’m back at school…” and “I’d love to travel more, but I’ve got kids and responsibilities”.

The list goes on and on and on and on and on.

I was challenged this morning by my good friend Claude to replace the word “but” with the word “and”. Suddenly everything changes. “I’d love to get into better shape and I’m really busy”, “I’m really excited about the new keynote and now that I’m back teaching…”

The words are small, the difference is huge and already I’m seeing a LOT more possibilities. I’m changing my vocabulary and getting rid of but, I’ll keep you posted.

Check out more about Claude HERE.